Stable Marriages
August 17, 2010
Last week I read all 138 pages of the decision ruling Proposition 8 unconstitutional, on every ground. Mostly, the arguments supporting the decision were things I’ve thought about, talked about, written about. But there were a few things I’d never really articulated, and that meant the most- that a legal expert had thought about the law, and democracy, and justice enough to surprise me!
Here are a few points I especially enjoyed:
(In response to the Pro8 folks positing that society has a vested interest in supporting sex within marriage for the purpose of procreation).
“To the extent California has an interest in encouraging sexual activity to occur within marriage (a debatable proposition…) the evidence shows Proposition 8 to be detrimental to that interest. Because of Proposition 8, same-sex couples are not permitted to engage in sexual activity within marriage… To the extent proponents seek to encourage a norm that sexual activity occur within marriage to ensure that reproduction occur within stable households, Proposition 8 discourages that norm because it requires some sexual activity and child-bearing and child-rearing to occur outside marriage.”
(In response to the Pro8 argument that society should promote stable families):
“Proponents argue Proposition 8 advances a state interest in encouraging the formation of stable households. Instead, the evidence shows that Proposition 8 undermines that state interest, because same-sex households have become less stable by the passage of Proposition 8. The inability to marry denies same-sex couples the benefits, including stability, attendant to marriage.
Proponents failed to put forth any credible evidence that married opposite-sex households are made more stable through Proposition 8. The only rational conclusion in light of the evidence is that Proposition 8 makes it less likely that California children will be raised in stable households.”
Finally, a bit of sanity!
For about 5 minutes, I engaged in the fantasy that couples waiting to get married would now be able to rush down to the courthouse, at least until the Court appeal. Those hopes were dashed when a stay was granted to halt all marriages while the appeal process unfolds. (This was reinforced by the appeals court yesterday- no marriages until the appeal process is concluded)… Stopped at the door once again.
The irony is that those of us who want to get married are main stream. We’re pretty straight and narrow (pun intended!) by and large. We live in our little abodes, we have children or we don’t, we share resources with each other, we go to work, we’re sure not out there worrying about all the activities the Pro 8 folks think we are. We have no interest in undermining straight marriages or taking over the world. As my brother once said, “Cheryl, you’re the straightest lesbian I know.” (I was afraid to ask him exactly what he meant, but you get the gist).
So, for now, I can imagine the day when the question will be settled and we can all just go on with living. May it be sooner than later, at no cost to anyone (especially emotional or physical), and may we all get a chance to celebrate a win for democratic principles!
