Bragging Rights

While out to dinner one night, I’m sitting across from my youngest, and she says, “why don’t you write about ME, Mom?!!!” and then the middle one says, “Yea, I haven’t noticed a column about me graduating from college yet. That’s worth a piece, right?” The oldest wasn’t there, but I’m sure she would have chimed right in, “don’t I get a blog?”
The funny thing is, I was staying away from specifics about them, thinking they would accuse me (well, at least the youngest) of getting in their space if I wrote about them. On the other hand, what’s a parenting blog without DETAILS about the actual CHILDREN!
So I am about to engage in wanton bragging- I warn you in advance in case bragging mothers make you want to… fill in the blank!
Excuse me while I flip a coin, so that they know I am not showing favoritism.

The youngest won the toss. Her sisters probably feel like that happens way too often these days, since she’s the only one still living with us. Where to begin? She is an actress, a dancer, a soccer player, an independent thinker, a social activist, and has been in student government since seventh grade. She protects her friends, whether they want her to or not, states her opinion, sometimes very stridently, and is never invisible. Weekly self portraits in kindergarten all had a “tada” quality. She can make a case like you wouldn’t believe, sometimes convincing us that she could (or will) become an attorney.
She plans on writing one of her college essays on Gay Marriage, and has made it clear she wants us to fact check. Period. Yes, she is VERY independent. And impressive, and seems very much like a grown up until I remember that she hasn’t retired all the stuffed animals, and she still needs a little guidance now and then (whether she thinks so or not).
And the middle child- she has just graduated from college as a linguist, having spoken in her short lifetime 6 different languages. She has travelled the world, absorbing different cultures and making friends on a global scale (sometimes even a boyfriend here or there). She is kind and protective and sometimes quiet, but very able to express what she wants when she wants.
We were separated for some of her childhood (that is a story for another day) but the thing that I noticed when I was able to be in her life again was that this was the very same beautiful soul I had known from birth, the same steadiness and observing eye. And now, that spirit is in an adult body, and I have the phenomenal honor of watching her walk though her life, loving her along the way. She teaches English to foreign students, creatively inspiring them to converse. Her respect for other people is palpable.
The oldest, who has had the most time to be herself, knows how to make beauty of her life and in the lives of others. I see the result of her beauty making in a very successful interior design business, but also in good friends and a happy marriage. She glides through life (we could call it poise) and yet is very clear on her own limits and boundaries- she knows how to speak for herself.
As a Resident Assistant in college, she gave workshops on how to support the LGBT community, and, when I visited once, I noticed she had a sign at the entrance to her room, letting everyone know this was a “safe space” where no bigotry towards members of the LGBT community would be acceptable.
She meets each new person expecting them to be wonderful. This has allowed her to influence and teach many people whom she has very little in common with- including the ultra conservative church where she sang in the choir in high school (how did she even find them?), resulting in a whole lot of lesbians showing up for the Holiday Concert. The congregation looked mighty confused! When they couldn’t change their stance on gay rights to her liking, she left, but not before she really tried to bring them over to her way of thinking, and I mean really tried.
These little snapshots are so limited- how to capture these children of my heart in just a few paragraphs? But what I notice reading it back is that they are all three very, very good people! They want a better world and they are each, in their own way, creating it, as world citizens, ambassadors, and teachers, just by being who they are.
When I’m depressed about gay teen suicide, or the fact that my marriage isn’t recognized, or the way “that’s so gay” is still an insult, one or the other of them will say, in some way, “don’t worry mom, when it’s up to us in a few years, this is a NON ISSUE.” And looking at the strength of their convictions and the force of their characters, I believe it!!!

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